Maintaining a Friendship in Divorce

Maintaining a Friendship in Divorce


Too many people think that a divorce must end bitterly and seemingly look for reasons to have a bitter divorce. However, this doesn’t need to be the case whatsoever. If you are going through a divorce, it is hard enough to deal with the pain of the separation, why make it more painful than it needs to be?

Divorcing your spouse doesn’t have to be a time of bliss but it doesn’t have to be a bitter fight either. While it may be hard to see what you ever found appealing about your spouse, remember at one time there was love. Even though love may have evolved into discontentment, you have no reason to try to make a painful situation worse than it needs to be. You can go through a divorce as painless as possible if you can remember to take into consideration the other person’s feelings.

Try to think of ways to make the divorce as friendly as possible. If you have children, invite your spouse over for dinner and have a meal as a family unit. If your children are involved in sports, still sit together at sporting events and maintain a connection of sorts for the sake of the children.

Divorce is never easy but mature adults with a good psychological balance can maintain a lifetime friendship even after the demise of the marriage. After all, with or without children from the marriage, you will always have some sort of connection to one another.

If you have in-laws that you are particularly fond of, try maintaining the friendship and love that you have with your spouse’s family. If you were close to members of his family, you can still keep them close to your heart, but know when to back away. When the time comes and your ex chooses to take another significant other home to meet the family, respectfully remember your new position as the ex.

The flip side of the in-law coin is of course true relief if you didn’t get along with your spouse’s family. If you had a controlling father or monster in-law then there is no reason for you to feel like you must continue that relationship with your ex-spouse’s family. In fact, if you have children, it is perfectly OK to cut all ties with the in-laws and respectfully ask the court to mandate that the ex-spouse be responsible for all connections to his or her family where the children are involved.

If your spouse is particularly hurt by a divorce which you initiated, then take the time to call and check on them from time to time. However, don’t lead them into false hope. And if you initiated the divorce, never sabotage a brewing new relationship your ex may have started. Even if you initiated the divorce, a new love interest may stir feelings you never expected, such as jealousy and rage. However, keep the reasons you chose to divorce in clear focus.